[P2PSIP] Joel Jaeggli's Abstain on

Songhaibin (A)

2015-12-31 03:05:36 UTC

Dear Joel,

Please see my reply in line.

-----Original Message-----
Sent: Wednesday, December 16, 2015 3:35 PM
To: The IESG
Subject: Joel Jaeggli's Abstain on draft-ietf-p2psip-diagnostics-19: (with
COMMENT)
Joel Jaeggli has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-p2psip-diagnostics-19: Abstain
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https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-p2psip-diagnostics/
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Mhement Ersue did the opsdir review,

Thanks.

While I would not prevent this document on a technical basis I would hope very
strongly that in addressing the discusses that further refinement can improve
the proposed standard... where that done I'd be happy to ballot no objection.
-----------
reviewed the document "P2P Overlay Diagnostics"
(draft-ietf-p2psip-diagnostics-19.txt) as part of the Operational directorate's
ongoing effort to review all IETF documents being processed by the IESG.
These comments were written primarily for the benefit of the operational area
directors. Document editors and WG chairs should treat these comments
just like any other last call comments.
Intended status: Standards Track
Updates: 6940 (if approved)
Current IESG state: In Last Call (ends 2015-12-14) IANA Review State: IANA -
https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-p2psip-diagnostics/history/)
Summary: The document describes mechanisms for P2P overlay diagnostics.
It defines extensions to the RELOAD P2PSIP base protocol to collect diagnostic
information, and details the protocol specifications for these extensions.
- The document is not easy to read and the clarity could be improved.

If it can be more specific, then it will be more helpful.

- It is common practice and rule to mention in the document abstract the RFC
which is going to be updated.

This will be resolved in another discussion thread that whether it updates RFC6940.

- There are many occurrences of the word “should”. Are these meant to be
normative language and “SHOULD”?

No, "should"s are not normative language in this document.

- There are different terms used in the first few sections, which are not
introduced properly. One substantial term the reader is surprised with is
"diagnostic kind type".

It is a language problem, "diagnostic Kind" is more clear than "diagnostic kind type". I can revise that.

- I believe the basic terms used in the document should be defined in a
Terminology section if not defined in RFC 6940. The Terminology section should
mention that the terminology from RFC 6940 is used.
- The term "Kind" has been defined in RFC 6940. If the term "kind" is to be used
as defined in RFC 6940 it should be used with a capital "K".

It has already mentioned concepts from RFC6940 are used in the terminology section. The suggestion to change "kind" to "Kind" is correct and accepted.

- There are different very long sentences and a few 5-to-6-part-substantives
“single, general P2PSIP overlay diagnostic framework”).

What about changing it to "a P2P overlay diagnostic framework ..."?

- Concerning: "The second is a new method and response, PathTrack,"
I would like to suggest to delete "and response" or call it "a new
request/response method".

Accept.

The idnits tool returns one error and numerous warnings which need to be fixed
(13 warnings, 2 comment and 1 error).
See
http://tools.ietf.org/idnits?url=https://tools.ietf.org/id/draft-ietf-p2psip-diagno
stics-19.txt

The warnings of references (TBD1...TBD8) will be resolved after those numbers are assigned by IANA. Actually although they are embraced by square brackets, they are not references, but only the numbers to be determined. I do not understand why there are the following two warnings:
" == Line 337 has weird spacing: '...ionType type;...'

== Line 531 has weird spacing: '... opaque diagn..."

The comment for document date is invalid now as we run idnits tool today. And the other comment will be resolved in another thread on whether it updates RFC6940.
I will check why there is 1 error about too long lines in the document, and it will be easily solved.

Thanks again,

-Haibin Song